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Mature Daters Must Be Careful with Image in Online Dating!

Recently I went surfing on a new international online dating site, as research for this business. The site was in German, so without the tool, or should I say, crutch of language -  I found myself having to rely a lot more heavily on photos. Without revealing my own age, I was shocked to find that the men age suddenly LOOKED older to me!

More distressingly, men significantly younger than me looked old to me. Never one to go out of my way to hide or lie about my age, I have always thought of myself as comfortable with my own maturity and possessed of a strong and well-integrated self image. In doing a test search, I went right to age-appropriate profiles, plus and minus 6-8 years.

So what was going on here?

I finally decided that my own internal self-image was responding to the images of the younger men. I have been told by friends that I am maturing exceptionally well. They know better than to say I look good for my age, but I have more than once found that cameras don't always agree with my friends. I feel younger, so my embedded self-image is younger. Now let's get down to reality. What does this mean for us trying to make it out here in the real world of dating and mating?

Older daters need to be careful about doing a good job with pictures, profiles and posts. With photos, a 25-year old with bed hair might get away with it online, but nix it for the 50 year old. Or put it this way, if at 50 years old you want to post an online photo showing you with a bad case of bed hair, unshaven cheeks, and neck wattle that spans the length of the photo, or a bikini shot that shows every varicose vein you own, then go ahead, but do not complain if you do not get responses from women who look like the late Farrah Fawcett at 62 or men who are lookalikes for Curt Russell at 58, or my favorite: Paul Newman at 83.

Several services offer online help to improve the look, sound, and feel of online dating profiles. For example, LookBetterOnline features profile makeovers, access to photographers who specialize in online dating snapshots, and lots of advice on how to put forth your best effort to attract a high quality response online.

Seniors, mature daters, boomer singles may have to work a little harder to get great dates.

Is this fair? Well, no. But the point is to get the best choices, of the choices available online, for dating, companionship, and fun. You should really wonder about anyone who would date a 50-year-old guy or gal with bad bed hair.

As for the written profile itself, here are a few tips:

Avoid Clichés. If you describe yourself as someone who "is really easygoing, likes people" and "likes going out to the movies and hanging out with (your) friends" then frankly, you are going to sound like everyone the reader has ever met, including their mother. Make the effort to stand out from the crowd.

Don't Share Too Much. Your online dating profile is designed to give the reader an alluring taste of who you are, what you are like, and why you're so special. It's not really the place to unzip your chest, pluck out your heart and soul, and lay them naked and pulsating on the online dating operating table. Don't reveal too much of your thoughts about the horrors of love, the capriciousness of dating, or the dastardly nature of men (or women). Many online profiles have WAY too much information. Keep some stuff for later.

Be Yourself... But Better Naturally - Everybody says this, but they say it because it's true. To maximize your online dating pulling power, you've got to write a really top-notch profile that shows you to be a seriously hot property, but naturally. That means being the best possible version of yourself: the well-dressed, funny, impressive, adorable, intelligent, flirtatious, warm, attractive, self-assured, memorable YOU.

So be a flirt. Be coy. Be confident. Be unusual. Smirk, frown questioningly, arch your eyebrow and pout your lips - all through the medium of words, of course, and get that great-looking photo out there. If you do not get great dates, you have only yourself to blame. A fun personal profile and a realistic, but attractive photo of yourself will go a long, long way.

Articles: lso read... Putting Your Best Self Forward

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